Dear Debbie

I feel very insecure and would like to know how to gain more self-confidence, do you have any suggestions?

Dear Insecure in Pompano,

When you feel insecure, subconsciously there are strong feelings that exist that are communicating to you a sense of unworthiness. Due to these strong feelings, it is difficult to feel self-confident. The first place to begin is to gain a sense of your body and how it feels to be in your own skin. Settling into your body will help you gain a sense of yourself.

Start to notice your breath, your feet on the ground, your body as you walk, how you talk, the tone and volume of your voice.   There is no judgment in this process, just valuable information about yourself.

Taking the time to get in touch with yourself will naturally  give you more self-confidence because you are rediscovering who you really are.  Self-confidence comes from knowing yourself well and trusting that what you have to say and share with others has value. It is also really important that you do not compare yourself to others or look for others to give you validation. You are a unique individual who is here to share your gifts with the world.

At times, people will not be able to accept you for who you are but that has nothing to do with you and should not affect your self-confidence. There is something deep inside all of us that knows what feels right and knows when we are in our truth. Try and tap into that part of yourself and remember the more you operate from that place, the more self-confident you will be in your life.


Please be advised that the advice written in this column is not a substitution for psychotherapy.


Debbie has taught me so much. One of the most important lessons Debbie taught me is that  it’s perfectly OK to say “NO” to requests, especially male requests, and you don’t need to give a reason. Followed by: True friends understand you can’t always be there when they call but still support and care for each other. And it’s OK not to attend every party and gathering or please everyone all the time. I am so grateful for Debbie. She gave me back my confidence and trust in myself. My life has gotten so much better because of her.


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