How to Relieve Stress and Pressure

Dear Debbie,

I feel pressured and stressed every day. I feel like I want to do a good job but don’t believe I can. What should I do?

Dear Pressured in Hollywood,

Feeling that you “must” do a good job adds unnecessary pressure to your life. The constant thought and worry only makes it worse and interferes with your success.

These thoughts you are having about not believing you can do it are created by your internal negative messages. These messages trigger your feelings of pressure and stress. Many of these negative messages were programmed by your parents and others that have influenced you in your past and have been playing in your mind unconsciously for years.

Worry that is created by your mind is not real. It is created before the situation has even occurred. It projects a worst case scenario that causes you to feel the pressure you are feeling. Once you can see that your mind is creating added stress to your situation, you can choose to stop being affected by it.

The way to release the control the mind has on you is to distinguish between a projected thought and your present experience. Look at what is happening right now. Do the thoughts you are having and your present experience at this very moment match up? Most likely they do not. When you recognize the dissonance between your thoughts and reality you will begin to realize that most of the pressure you are feeling is because of your mind.

You can control your mind! Pay attention to your present experience and let your negative thoughts pass by without becoming attached to them. If you start attaching to a negative thought and believing it, STOP, BREATHE, RELEASE. Controlling your reaction to your mind will help you release the pressure and doubt you feel so that you can relax and do a good job.

Debbie

Please be advised that the advice written in this column is not a substitution for psychotherapy.